He might have escaped prison time, but conservative fantasy filmmaker and author Dinesh D’Souza was unable to convince a judge to put off his eight month sentence in a halfway house so he could meet his “professional commitments.”

“Application respectfully denied. The court is, in fact, surprised that its 9/23/14 sentence is not already in effect,” Manhattan federal Judge Richard Berman wrote D’Souza’s lawyer Benjamin Brafman Wednesday.

After ripping him as a “compulsive talker,” Berman sentenced D’Souza to just five years of probation for illegally shelling out $20,000 in contributions in the name of others for Republican Wendy Long’s failed 2012 US Senate bid to defeat incumbent Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY). The sentence includes eight months in a halfway house.

Reflecting his client’s amazing sense of privilege, D’Souza’s attorney admitted that the now-convicted felon’s “professional commitments” included two months that he had cleared of actual engagements to be with his daughter. First, D’Souza tried to deny the charges of illegal campaign contributions by ignoring math; now he’s tried to avoid the consequences by ignoring plain the plain meaning of words in the English language. When he does leave the halfway house in eight months, expect D’Souza to try amending the plain meaning of “convicted felon,” too.