Alabama made gun ownership a human right yesterday. That was a day after the Utah County attorney decided that Saratoga Springs police officers were justified when they shot Darrien Brown six times in the back because of his very, very dangerous costume sword.

No longer a smart or sane country, America bans Batman costumes from movie theaters rather than limit ‘open carry’ activists from bringing their assault rifles to see Interstellar. In conservative America, fantasy violence is deemed more dangerous than a high-powered rifle.

Despite huge, enormous, gaping-like-Goatse lies that the shooters have been caught telling about their victim, Jeff Buhman has decided that Hunt’s costume sword wasn’t dull enough to consider him an unarmed person.

So let’s be honest: Brown committed the crime of not being armed enough. He should have been open-carrying an assault rifle strapped across his back, because there would probably be armed ‘patriot militia’ mobs protesting in the streets of Saratoga Springs right now if Brown had been an open-carry activist instead of a fantasy weapon enthusiast.

Darrien Brown died within 37 seconds of his encounter with police. Since gun ownership is now a human right in Alabama, whereas voting is not, compare Brown’s final terrified moments to the treatment experienced yesterday by a founding father of gun-rights group BamaCarry when he was arrested in Shelby County while trying to vote with a .357 Magnum.

Robert Kennedy Jr. arrived at the polling site at the Pelham First Baptist Church Annex building at about 9:10 a.m. and encountered the deputy in the lobby.

After about two minutes of talking, Kennedy voluntarily surrendered his pistol to the deputy, who then patted him down to search for other weapons and placed handcuffs on him. The deputy led Kennedy to the sheriff’s patrol car in front of the building where a Pelham police officer arrived a few minutes later at about 9:16 a.m.

After placing Kennedy into the back of the sheriff’s patrol vehicle, the deputy left with his prisoner at about 9:21 a.m.

Two whole minutes of talking? Why didn’t the police officer just draw their gun and demand that Kennedy surrender his weapon, perhaps invoking Kennedy’s fight-or-flight response, giving themselves a perfect excuse to bravely shoot him in the back?

Kennedy is alive today to be charged with voter intimidation, while Darrien Brown is dead in the cold, cold ground, and the difference lies in the perceived lethality gap between a sword and a .357 Magnum. The former is dangerous enough to require that police start shooting; the latter deserves more respect because it is more dangerous. See how that works?

  • Zero

    You’re being most charitable to the cops by overlooking the other obvious difference between Kennedy and Brown…

  • Montana Maximilian

    Amerikkka!!!!!!