Hi, I am James Rustad. Over the weekend, former Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina said that there was a “higher than 90 percent” chance that she would become a Republican presidential candidate.  She also said that she could improve the economy by cutting federal worker pay because they were “watching porn all day.” I will now perform the song “Porn in the USA.”

Federal workers watching porn all day
Carly says she’s gonna cut their pay
She don’t like bureaucracy
Says it’s bad for the economy

Porn in the USA
Federal workers watching porn in the USA

Carly went down to Hewlett-Packard town
The first thing she did was run it to the ground
She got Hewlett-Packard into a jam
So they took the company out of her hands

Porn in the USA
Federal workers watching porn in the USA

She compared Tom Campbell to a demon sheep
Then lost to Barbara Boxer in an election sweep
She’s the worst CEO in history
Why she’s running for president is a mystery

Porn in the USA
Federal workers watching porn in the USA

“Porn in the USA”
Lyrics by James Rustad. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved.