The Hot Stove Season for the 2016 election is in full swing as billionaires sift through the roster of GOP candidates to find the best adversary for Democratic front-runner Madame Secretary Hillary Clinton. In my column, “Game of GOP Thrones: Hillary Sparrow,” I underscore parallels between the best quotes from the Game of Thrones Season Five third episode and the Republican field. GOP hypocrisy is a boil and lancing a boil is never pleasant.

“I assure you she’s still a virgin. Tyrion never consummated the marriage. By the law of the land, she’s no man’s wife.”

“Inspect her, if you must.”

“I leave that to the brothel keeper.”

“It’s her name I need, not her virtue.”

Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas), who needs no introduction to my readers, was a member of Princeton University’s debate team as an undergraduate.  The New York Times reported that, according to a recollection by David Kennedy published in a Harvard debate team reunion booklet in 2001, during one debate Cruz proposed a method to detect infidelity. Cruz stated that God should “give women a hymen that grows back every time she has intercourse with a different guy, because that will be a ‘visible sign’ of the breach of trust.”

Moments of enlightenment on gender relations like this make Ted Cruz nothing more than “A Rebel Without a Clue”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XvMB6SBPgI

“I was once as you are now. Bought and sold, secured and branded.”

A battalion of conservative advocacy groups backed by Charles and David Koch plans to spend $889 million on financing for politically active groups, free-market think tanks, foundations, and academic institutions in advance of the 2016 election.

The New York Times reported that last week at a fund-raising event in Manhattan for the New York State Republican Party, David Koch told donors that he and his brother would support Governor Scott Walker (R-Wisconsin) “when the primaries are over and Scott Walker gets the nomination. “ It sounds to me that the primaries, aka “Kochapalooza 2016,” are already over and Scott Walker has won the nomination.

“She’s certainly very pretty, isn’t she? Like a doll. She smiles quite a lot. Do you think she’s intelligent? I can’t quite tell, not that it matters.”

Speaking of Scott Walker, he is a case example of a politician elected under the pretenses of “smaller government is better” and “liberty and freedom for the individual.” However, once in office he used his governmental authority in a heavy-handed manner to enhance monolithic corporate power. Walker signed legislation last month imposing new restrictions on labor organizing to make Wisconsin a “right to work state” [in air quotes].  It is true that signing of a bill prohibiting organized labor from forcing workers to pay union dues enhances an individual’s ability to make a choice on the matter on the short-term. “Right to work” entitles employees to the benefits of a union contract (including the right to have a union take up a grievance against an employer) without paying union dues. What a deal, this sounds too good to be true! It is too good to be true; in the long-term “right-to-work” disables collective bargaining rights and ultimately lowers individual workers’ ability to feed their families. The Kentucky (home of another GOP Presidential candidate and “right-to-work” proponent, Senator Rand Paul) Center for Economic Policy found a lack of job growth and lower wages in “right-to-work” states in a recent report.

“Every ambitious move is a gamble. You gambled when you drove a dagger into Robb Stark’s heart. It appears that your gamble paid off. You’re Warden of the North.”

It is a safe bet that multibillionaire casino mogul Sheldon Adelson will gamble heavily on the candidacy of Senator Marco Rubio (R-Florida). Politico reported that two Florida-based Adelson lobbyists headlined a Rubio fundraiser in the state’s capital of Tallahassee. In addition, Adelson’s daily newspaper Israel Hayom frequently features Senator Rubio on the front-page.

“Someone who inspires priests and whores is worth taking seriously.”

Former Governor Rick Perry (R-Texas) deftly toes the line between the evangelical Christian crowd and the corporate whore fossil fuel industry “privatize and de-regulate” folks.

Watch my music video “Rick Perry got indicted” right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIvXAJNljHg

Perry was in Sin City (ironic, I know) on Saturday to show Sheldon Adelson and the Republican Jewish Coalition some serious love for Israel. Some Christian Zionists believe that the gathering of Jewish people in Israel is a prerequisite for the Second Coming of Jesus.  This belief is for the most part associated with Dispensationalism. Many conservative Christians believe that Jesus will descend from Heaven and take believers through the clouds to Heaven in the Rapture. The Rapture will not occur unless Israel exists in the Holy Land.  This past week Michele Bachmann, former Republican Congresswoman from Minnesota, thinks that the Rapture is coming due to Barack Obama’s support of same-sex marriage and his “number one goal” to “ensure that Iran has a nuclear weapon.”

Perry has close ties with the “Dominionism” movement to convert America into a Christian state. Several pastors with the “New Apostolic Reformation” helped organize and deliver speeches at a Perry prayer rally in Houston.

Watch my music video “Jesus loves me this I know, ‘cause Rick Perry tells me so” right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRvO1-cCw2U

“High Sparrow, it sounds ridiculous, like Lord Duckling or King Turtle. It’s meant to. We’re often stuck with the names our enemies give to us. The notion that we’re all equal in the eyes of the Seven doesn’t sit well with some, so they belittle me.”

Media Matters posted an excellent article detailing the conclusion of NBC News that the New York Times article suggesting that donations to the Clinton Foundation may have influenced Hillary Clinton’s State Department when they signed off on the sale of Uranium One “doesn’t hold up that well.”

“Don’t let them see your tears, he told me. They are nasty little sh-ts, nasty little sh-ts aren’t worth crying over.”

Perhaps this is the best advice for Hillary Clinton as she enters the 2016 election season. The GOP contenders “wish they all could be just like Hillary.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBYle4XXgUU