My new column “Game Of GOP Thrones Jeb Bush Edition: Kill The Joy” reviews the week in Jeb Bush flip-flops about his position on the Iraq War alongside quotes from the fifth episode of Game of Thrones Season 5. Megyn Kelly of Fox News, in an interview earlier this week, asked Jeb Bush the following question: “Knowing what we know now, would you have authorized the invasion?” Jeb, who later claimed to have interpreted the question incorrectly, answered “I would’ve.” And so began a week of attempting to walk that answer back…

“If Jon Snow returns with the wildlings. We can’t wait that long. We have the advantage, more men, more horses, all fed and rested. But every day we wait, the odds shift in Bolton’s favor. This could turn to winter at any moment. We have to act now. Give the order. We march at sunrise.”

Phillip Bump of The Fix helpfully assembled a Venn diagram to show that 19 of the 21 “experts” guiding Jeb Bush on foreign policy issues worked in the administrations of his father George H.W. Bush or brother George W. Bush: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2015/02/18/jeb-bushs-foreign-policy-team-is-eerily-familiar-in-1-venn-diagram/

George W. Bush learned from his father to use his political capital. Author and journalist Mickey Herskowitz said about George W. Bush in an interview accessed at http://www.commondreams.org/headlines04/1028-01.htm : “He was thinking about invading Iraq in 1999. It was on his mind. He said to me: ‘One of the keys to being seen as a great leader is to be seen as a commander-in-chief.’ And he said, ‘My father had all this political capital built up when he drove the Iraqis out of Kuwait and he wasted it.’ He said, ‘If I have a chance to invade…if I had that much capital, I’m not going to waste it. I’m going to get everything passed that I want to get passed and I’m going to have a successful presidency.”

The moment that George W. Bush accumulated enough capital to invade Iraq arrived in the wake of the September 11 attacks. As Herskowitz observed, “suddenly, he’s at 91 percent in the polls, and he’d barely crawled out of the bunker.”

“We could pull back to the pyramid district, secure it, and use it as a base from which to operate. Then we clean the city out, neighborhood by neighborhood, street by street, until the rats have nowhere left to hide.”

“We’ve been fighting them all for thousands of years. They’ve slaughtered villages. They’ve slaughtered our brothers.”

“And we’ve slaughtered theirs.”

The “Bushees” starts wars wherever they want to, that’s what they like to do. When you ask them the reason, it’s always something new.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yz7T53UrbU

 

“You mustn’t keep secrets from me, Reek. Get on your knees.”

The “Torture Report Song” discusses how the CIA protected us by feeding suspects hummus through their rectum. Sample lyric: “I waterboarded people then and tried to make them say when, tried rectal hydration and sleep deprivation, beatings and threats to make a safer nation.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37y5jiYAA0I

“It’d be kinder to put daggers in their hearts and be done with it. Thank you for saving me. Of course, I wouldn’t have needed saving if you hadn’t kidnapped me in the first place. So what now?”

Remember, if Jeb Bush’s top foreign policy adviser is George W. Bush that means that Jeb Bush’s top foreign policy adviser is Dick Cheney.

“Dick Cheney’s Garage” talks about a tiny cell with a terrible smell. Dick Cheney (S + M enthusiast and a sadistic little perv) was in charge, and he would “do it all again in a minute” (i.e., authorize the use of torture to interrogate suspects);

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHqnFIaQuIE

“What I want is no longer the primary consideration. I’m furthering a dynasty.”

Prescott S. Bush, the patriarch of the Bush family political dynasty, represented Connecticut in the Senate from 1952 to 1963. George H.W. Bush served as CIA Director, Vice President under President Ronald Reagan, and President of the United States from 1989 to 1993. His son George W. Bush was governor of Texas and was President of the United States. Jeb Bush, son of George H.W. and brother of George W., served as Governor of Florida. Jeb inadvertently announced his candidacy for the Republican Party presidential nomination, in an interview with KRNV News in Reno (Nevada) this week, he stated: “I’m running for president in 2016, and the focus is going to be about…how do you create high sustained economic growth, where more people have a chance to earn success? I will apply my record and the ideas that are relevant going forward to all of us.”

My “12 Days of Christmas: the Jeb Bush 2016 campaign edition” will serve to remind you of many virtues of the Bush family political dynasty: tax cuts for the wealthy, two Iraq wars, three Lehman brothers, Guantanamo Bay, Dick Cheney, Financial crisis, two rigged elections, WMDs, offshore tax havens, FEMA disaster, Afghanistan War, and Donald Rumsfeld.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-KAyVy7q24

Alex Isenstadt of Politico reported (http://www.politico.com/story/2015/05/jeb-bush-right-to-rise-super-pac-campaign-117753.html), that Jeb Bush has delayed his formal announcement for presidency so that his “Right to Rise” can raise $100 million dollars by the end of this month. As Taegan Goddard of “The Week” (http://theweek.com/articles/554678/jeb-bush-destroying-laughable-campaign-finance-laws) observed, presidential campaigns have strict limits on fundraising from individual donors while a super PAC can raise nearly unlimited amounts of money as long as it doesn’t coordinate actions with a specific political campaign. Thus, Jeb Bush can effectively build a war chest for his super PAC, dissociate from it once he announces, then watch from the sidelines as it acts on his behalf for the campaign.  Ladies and gentlemen….the campaign finance laws of the United States Of America!

“That’s the best idea you’ve had all day.”

On Thursday, Jeb Bush (speaking to a group of Arizona voters) stated “if we’re all supposed to answer hypothetical questions: Knowing what we know now, what would you have done? I would not have engaged. I would not have gone into Iraq.”  That is definitely the best idea that Jeb had all week in his joy-killing campaign!