Fox News Channel terminated its contract with former Alaska Governor and 2008 GOP vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin, effective June 1st. I wanted to take this time to commend Sarah Palin for her manifold contributions to the cultural milieu since her tenure at Fox News started in 2010. Thanks for the memories, Sarah! My new article looks back wistfully at Sarah Palin’s “Greatest Hits” from the past year!

Speaking of “Greatest Hits,” as you may have heard, “there was a fight…at the Palin Paaaarrrrrtttyyy.” It involved camouflage skirts and stilettos. The #PalinBrawl song gives you the play-by-play:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlFZFTEShh4

Up in Alaska in Anchorage town
That’s where all the snowmobile parties go down
Everyone was chillin’ drinking beers after work
Then Track Palin stumbled from his Hummer like a jerk
There was a fight at the Palin party!

Track Palin spotted Willow’s ex-boyfriend there
Took his shirt off, threw middle fingers in the air
Man, living in Alaska everything is frozen
There was a dog pile and someone punched Todd Palin’s nose in
There was a fight at the Palin party!

“Don’t you know who I am?” that’s what Sarah Palin said
Then Bristol Palin punched somebody in the head
The Police busted in and what did they see?
It’s the Poster Family for the Tea Party!
There was a fight at the Palin party!

For your amusement, check out media coverage of the #PalinBrawl song in the Washington Post, Seattle PI, Alaska Dispatch, Firebrand Progressives, Inquistr (and again in Inquistr), AmandaCoyne.com, and Political Gates.

Sarah Palin made headlines yet again when she posted a photo on Facebook on New Year’s Day of her son Trig stepping on his dog “Jill Hadassah.” She applauded Trig for not letting the “lazy dog” block his way and instead turned the “stumbling block” into a stepping stone on the path forward. I, joined by Sarah Palin “washing the dishes,” performed the song “I am not your Steppin’ Stool” from the perspective of the Palin’s dog “Jill Hadassah.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYXK_oZkllk

I was lyin’ on the floor when Trig stepped on me
He wanted a better view so that he could see
Sarah Palin wash dishes in the sink
And what happened next you just wouldn’t think

I am not your Steppin’ Stool

Trig could have bought himself some platform shoes
But he stepped on my back now we’re in the news
I should be more careful ’bout the friends I choose
’cause hangin’ with the Palins a dog will always lose

I am not your Steppin’ Stool

Later in January, Sarah Palin gave an extraordinarily strange speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit which effectively ended her presidential aspirations. I performed a song about the speech called “Sarah Palin.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-g08VVqx8c
The Man can only ride you when your back is bent
Strengthen it so America won’t get taken for a ride

Woo-hoo it’s the status quo
Woo-hoo it’s a Latin word
Woo-hoo she’s a cuckoo bird

Woo-ee-oo I am dumb like Sarah Palin
Oh-oh with her phony folksy charm
She don’t care about the liberal media
She don’t care about that

She lives in fear when Obama is near
Cause he wants to play God
She says that liberals are Orwellian
If only she’d read his books

Woo-hoo it’s the status quo
Woo-hoo it’s a Latin word
Woo-hoo she’s a cuckoo bird

Woo-ee-oo I am dumb like Sarah Palin
Oh-oh with her phony folksy charm
She don’t care about the liberal media
She don’t care about that

In February, Sarah Palin wrote this characteristically rambling post about the Brian Williams NBC scandal. File under: “Kicking a man when he’s down.” I performed the song “Palin Don’t Preach” as an attempt to dissuade her from piling on poor Brian Williams:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9iMWixi11k

Liberal Media Conspiracy
Tried to mess with her family
They should know by now
Trig is her baby

They have a herd mentality
They are unkind to Sarah P
She’s a victim of JournoLists
Can’t you see?

Brian Williams is off the air
Sarah Palin she don’t care
He’s in an awful mess
And he don’t mean maybe – please!

Palin Don’t Preach – Brian’s in trouble deep
Palin Don’t Preach – he’s been losing sleep
Sarah made up her mind – Trig is her baby

Sarah never lied before
She tells the truth on that you can be sure
Never embellishes when she tells a story
She opposed the “Bridge to Nowhere”
Sold the Governor’s Jet on Ebay
Nevermind the infamous “Palin Brawl”

Media’s like a crime syndicate
They fight against right they’re not givin’ in
I will give Sarah some good advice – please!

Palin Don’t Preach – Brian’s in trouble deep
Palin Don’t Preach – he’s been losing sleep
Sarah made up her mind – Trig is her baby

Song Credits:

#PalinBrawl song: Lyrics by James Rustad. Copyright 2014. All Rights Reserved.

“I am Not Your Steppin’ Stool” : Lyrics by James Rustad. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved.

“Sarah Palin” : Lyrics by James Rustad. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved.

“Palin Don’t Preach” : Lyrics by James Rustad. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved.