Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey put out a new video, “Tellling It Like It Is,” in advance of the governor’s formal 2016 presidential launch scheduled for Tuesday. Feeling very inspired, I recorded two new videos with “Governor Christie’s Crooked Pals Club Band.” The parody song “Christie In The Sky With Wildstein” and my original song “Time For Some Traffic Problems In Ft. Lee” feature classic GOP gangster Richard Milhous Nixon on moral turpitude.  My new article “Governor Christie Of ‘The Soprano State’ Declares Presidential Run” features Christie-themed music videos and song lyrics alongside quotes from the legendary television series “The Sopranos.”

Journalists Bob Ingle and Sandy McClure wrote a fantastic book called “The Soprano State: New Jersey’s Culture Of Corruption” which I highly recommend that you check out! The book inspired me to explore how Governor Christie followed the great tradition of brazen corruption in New Jersey politics.

“I’m like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns to s–t.”

Matt Friedman of NJ.com details “5 things about Christie’s governorship that could hurt his presidential run.” As Friedman notes: “credit agencies have downgraded bond ratings on nine occasions since Christie took office – more than any previous governor.”  King Midas in reverse, indeed!

You know, Tony, it’s a multiple choice thing with you. ‘Cause I can’t tell if you’re old-fashioned, you’re paranoid, or just a f–king a–hole.”

Matt Katz of WNYC runs The Christie Tracker and appears weekly on WNYC’s Christie Tracker Podcast. Katz is writing a highly anticipated biography (“American Governor: Chris Christie’s Bridge To Redemption”) and keenly observes Christie’s greatest strength and weakness to be “his mouth.”

Check out the video for “Christie In The Sky With Wildstein” right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KmadtwznMY&feature=em-upload_owner

 

“You lost your f–kin’ mind? The sh-t you’re in with that kid, which you brought on yourself.”

“Brought on myself? Oh, I suppose you let a certain element into your world, you’re askin’ for it.”

Picture yourself on a bridge in New Jersey

With very few trees and smog in the sky

Somebody texts you you answer so slowly

A blogger with Devious Eyes

 

“It’s not like I’m gettin’ somewhere’s playin’ by the rules! F– Tony!”

Cellophane tollbooths of yellow and blue

Shutdown in two of three lanes

Look for the email from Bridget Anne Kelly

She’s gone

Christie in the Sky with Wildstein — Ah – Ah – Ah

 

“It’s like “Sun-Tuh-Zoo” says: a good leader is benevolent and unconcerned with fame.”

Picture yourself with a straight talking governor

Who lowers your taxes and talks tough on crime

He wants to make your government smaller

He works cross the aisle, makes moderates smile

 

“There’s an old Italian saying: you f–k up once, you lose two teeth.”

Multiple Scandals on New Jersey Shore

Threaten to take him away

But he’s in denial

His head’s in the clouds and he’s gone

Christie in the Sky with Wildstein — Ah – Ah – Ah

 

“Where the f— have you been? You’re late!”

“Sorry, the highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive.”

Speaking of jammed highways: “Bridgegate!” My original song “Time For Some Traffic Problems In Ft. Lee” recaps Chris Christie’s major scandals with “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FzWuU6cABs&feature=em-upload_owner

“Alright, obviously you told the cops you don’t know who did this.”

“I’m upset. But please, I know how to keep my mouth shut.”

“Oh unless of course there’s a salami sandwich around.”

Who’s that wreaking havoc at the Port Authority?

None other than New Jersey Governor Chris Christie

After Hurricane Sandy he was the toast of the town

Now he’s got some scandals that will bring that fat cat down

 

“Now apparently, you are becoming a bully. Dr. Mendel feels you’re modeling your actions on the wrong people.”

“Really, like who?”

“You know who. That gangster.”

His political future going down the drain

“Studied traffic patterns” and shut down two of three lanes

Maybe one reason things are so fucked up in the organization these days is guys running off, not listening to middle management.”

His staffers laughed that people couldn’t get to work on time

New Jersey paid a steep price for a cheap political crime

Time for some traffic problems down in Ft. Lee

The bridge is backed up just as far as the eye can see

Everything’s great in the Garden State, but for Christie it’s much too late

 

“Jersey’s a small state, she moves in…she could tip it over.”

Christie stopped the Hudson River ARC tunnel project

Commuters stuck in cars and on trains what did he expect?

Used Port Authority money to fix the Pulaski Skyway

Owned and operated by New Jersey, not the agency

 

“We’ve had every one of Tony Soprano’s phones bugged for four years, but the guy says less than Harpo Marx.”

Port Authority pulled some “trick-eration” with this fraud

Deceiving bond holders is a plan that is flawed

Called Pulaski Skyway a Lincoln Tunnel access road

SEC and Manhattan DA are on the case and Christie will implode

Time for some traffic problems down in Ft. Lee

The bridge is backed up just as far as the eye can see

Everything’s great in the Garden State, but for Christie it’s much too late

 

“Sit down. Sit down. Sit the f–k down. Your uncle was a rat and now he’s in the witness protection program.”

Song Credits:

“Christie In The Sky With Wildstein” (Lyrics by James Rustad. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved.)

“Time For Some Traffic Problems In Ft. Lee” (Lyrics and Music by James Rustad. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved.)

Follow me @jamesrustadsong, like James Rustad music, and subscribe to my youtube. Also, check out www.jamesrustad.com!