A trio of underwhelming contenders are battling for the 2016 GOP Presidential nomination. In my new column, “Game Of GOP Thrones: The Orange Man,” I break down the parallels between the best quotes from the highly anticipated Season 6 Game of Thrones season premiere (spoiler alert!), “The Red Woman,” and the GOP contestants, aka Dumb (Kasich), Dumber (Cruz), and Dumbest (Trump).

“Loyalty is the foundation on which the Night’s Watch is built. And the Watch means everything to me. I have given my life, we have all given our lives to the Night’s Watch. Jon Snow was going to destroy the Night’s Watch. He let the wildlings through our gates as no Lord Commander has ever done before. He gave them the very land on which they reaved and raped and murdered. Lord Commander Snow did what he thought was right, I’ve no doubt about that. And what he thought was right would have been the end of us. He thrust a terrible choice upon us. And we made it.”

Donald Trump is a raving beast who has channeled the fantasies of frightened paranoiacs and illiterates into taking pole position in the GOP presidential race. The demented demagogue Trump is the latest of a long line of right-wing hyenas proficient in generating false consciousness among the angry and resentful wing of the proletariat. Mimicking degenerate swine Richard Nixon’s “Southern Strategy,” he touts the return of the “Silent Majority.” His ascendancy may herald the onset of a new Republican brand of “White Identity Politics.”

Indeed, the GOP made the terrible choice of Trump by fomenting primitive hatred against women, minorities, immigrants and the LGBTQ community for decades via Rush Limbaugh (“American Viper”) and the right wing media industrial complex. Now they must watch as Trump destroys the Republican Party from within.


“We’re never going to fix what’s wrong with this city from the top of an 800-foot pyramid. We’ll be fine. We’re dressed like common merchants.”

“You walk like a rich person.”

“You’ve spent a lot of time studying the way rich people walk?”

“You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property.”

“I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy.”

“It’s a good thing you’re not a boy anymore. Because you have no cock.”

Donald Trump talks the talk of the Common Man, but he walks like a rich person. A modern-day Morton Downey Jr., Trump emerged from his palace of privilege to cast stones at the “elites” while earning the admiration of mouth-breathers everywhere. The irony of this Manhattanite (a card carrying member of the Silver Spoons club) ginning up anti-establishment sentiment is precious. Often praised for his authenticity, he talks Tea Party but he walks Rockerfeller Republican.  Furthermore, his popularity indicates that conservative ideology, to paraphrase philosopher William James, “bakes no bread.”  The GOP base is infrequently interested in balancing budgets, that’s why John “aw shucks” Kasich’s “Father Knows Best” shtick is going over as well as a kale and tofu salad at the Golden Corral.

father knows bestAlthough, Kasich is a seemingly reasonable politician, his actual policies are quite Draconian in nature.

“The Sons of the Harpy planned their attack in the fighting pits very carefully, which means they take orders from someone.”

John Kasich and Ted Cruz, presumably urged on by the wizard behind the curtain RNC chairman Reince Priebus, are uniting into a “not-so-superfriends” coalition against Donald Trump to try to force a brokered convention.  Because we all know how well those go:


“Sinners don’t make demands. They make confessions.”

Speaking of Ted Cruz, he continues to present a Pu-Pu platter of pseudo-Christian platitudes à la Huckabee and Glenn Beckian Tea Party hysterics in a more Edible Arrangement for the Republican voter.  For the love of W. Cleon Skousen!


Buried, burned? This is good meat. Feed it to the hounds.

Trump, the Wharton-educated member of the Northeastern elite, throws meat to the base and appeals to the baser instincts of the Deep South. The “Southern Strategy” playbook of Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan involved blowing racial dog whistles to appeal to disenfranchised white southern voters. Trump deals not in racial dog whistles, but racial bullhorns in appealing to the baser instincts of American voters. These bullhorns are a recipe for a Democratic decimation of the GOP in 2016.

“I want to see what the world looks like when she’s done conquering it.”

Trump, a grubby little hustler, introduced the physical appearance of Hillary Clinton into his Presidential campaign at a speech in Philadelphia on Monday:

‘Do I look like a president? How handsome am I, right? How handsome?’

‘Somebody said, “He really does look good, but you know, I don’t know if he’s presidential.” ‘

‘And I’m looking at this stage of people – my competitors. Does Hillary look presidential?’

His audience responded: ‘No!’

Trump took a page from his Carly Fiorina “look at that face” playbook in attacking Hillary Clinton. The recurrent motif is that he does not think women look the part of a president. I myself do not want to see what the world would look like when Trump is done conquering it. Hopefully, the early polling showing Trump losing by wide margins to either Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders in a general election matchup will hold up through election day this November.

In the same Philadephia speech, Trump also dismissed Bernie Sanders as a “communist.” Ah, nothing like some good old fashioned red-baiting by the Orange Man.