In never ceases to amaze me during an election season how various opposition researchers can sling mud or go to the sewer looking for sewage. Yes, when you go into a sewer expect you will find sludge. One such sludge is Sally Miller, the alleged former mistress of Bill Clinton, who now comes to the forefront in fringe right wing media with the bold claim that Hillary Clinton snorted coke, was a frigid lesbian who hated men’s penises because they looked like snakes to her and so forth. Of course this was picked up by various winger outlets because it was posted on Drudge (who hates on the Clintons with reckless abandon).

When I asked Bill if he shared his fantasies with Hillary, he laughed.

“What a joke! Sex is a waste of time to Hillary. When we were dating, she talked about making-out with her girlfriends in college because she knew it turned me on. Hillary seemed worldly and more sexually-experienced than me and, at the time, I liked it.”

“Before we married, I got her pregnant and she had an abortion. It bothered me because I didn’t know about it until it was over. Then, several months after the wedding, she slipped up again because she was too lazy to take the pill.

“Hillary hates kids. She was one nasty bitch when she was pregnant. My God, for nine months, she made my life a living hell and blamed me!

“From the beginning, our political advisors warned us that Hillary must take my last name and concentrate on having a child if I was going to have a future in politics. I saw the real Hillary after we got married.

“She’s a damn frigid bitch who prefers women; she won’t even compromise and be bi-sexual. All I hear is how much she despises penises; she thinks they are fucking ugly, like snakes.”

Bill mentioned, “The only time Hillary gets aroused or agree to ‘play sexy’ is after she snorts coke. But, even then, she’s rigid and frigid. Hillary goes ape-shit crazy–I mean screams, hits, and cusses–if I touch her breasts! Right after we started fooling around, she warned me to stay away from her tits, even telling me: ‘If you want to nurse–go home to your momma!’”

Yes it must be tough times for opposition researchers when you have to dig so far down into the sewer to come up with something, hell, anything that attempts to resemble quality research. Of course these stories have been refuted time and again, but that doesn’t appear to be stopping the fringe media from covering it.

By Marcus Crassus

Marcus Licinius Crassus was a Roman general and politician who played a key role in the transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire.

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