Seen tonight on the remarkable Raw Story website.Well, that WOULD explain the chronic constipation.

Other headline-related jokes?

When forcibly expelled, they become “blood diamonds.”

Now we know where chocolate diamonds come from!

I guess that’s why so many doctors choose to become proctologists.

Will BM’s now be measured by karat size?

Finally. A benefit from being anal retentive.

He ate at Jared’s!

That explains why he’s such a hard ass.

OK. I’m done.