Here, we learn why Donald Trump is known for being “Consoler in Chief.”

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Having joined forces with his friend Brett Kimberlin in the complete and utter annihilation of WJJ Hoge III and his self-destructive legal machinations, your Humble Editor is devoted to his fiance, the plump and pleasant Lady Di, and #resistance to the madman in the White House, working hand-in-glove with friends and colleagues to stave off the incipient fascism facing our great republic. He enjoys an occasional top shelf bourbon.