We thought we had scraped the bottom of the “stupid barrel” when Rep. Joe Barton (R-Tx.) apologized for the fact that a picture he texted of himself, all naked, fat, hairless and apparently “aroused”, which was then distributed across the Internet.
The barrel was deeper than we thought.
Barton was recorded by the woman to whom he sent the picture of “little Joe” — as well as videos showing Barton “touching himself in an impure manner”. He threatened to call the “Capitol Police” on the woman if she made the photos public, according to the Washington Post.
Apparently, Barton has set a new low for the “smart” bar a congressman must meet by telling the woman what he would tell the Capitol Cops if she showed the pics or videos of the Republican lawmaker spanking what must have been a very, very naughty monkey.
Remember as you read this next part. Barton was aware that he was talking to a woman who had a cell phone that could record conversations.
“I want your word that this ends,” he said, according to the recording, adding: “I will be completely straight with you. I am ready if I have to, I don’t want to, but I should take all this crap to the Capitol Hill Police and have them launch an investigation. And if I do that, that hurts me potentially big time.”
“Why would you even say that to me?” the woman responded. “The Capitol Hill police? And what would you tell them, sir?”
Said Barton: “I would tell them that I had a three-year undercover relationship with you over the Internet that was heavily sexual and that I had met you twice while married and had sex with you on two different occasions and that I exchanged inappropriate photographs and videos with you that I wouldn’t like to be seen made public, that you still apparently had all of those and were in position to use them in a way that would negatively affect my career. That’s the truth.”
Barton was still married to his second wife when his relationship with the woman began. His wife filed for divorce in April 2014, according to court records; the divorce was made final in February 2015. A spokeswoman for Barton did not respond to a question about when his separation began.
Besides the recording of the phone call, the woman shared text and social media messages she exchanged with Barton, as well as a 53-second cellphone video Barton recorded of himself administering corporal punishment to the aforementioned VERY bad little monkey. The conspiracy theory website Infowars obtained a copy of the video and published it Wednesday night, though the video appeared to have been removed from the site later.
The 68-year old Barton is the 5th-longest currently serving Republican in the House, now in his 17th term. A member of the Freedom Caucus, Barton usually gets top scores from socially conservative groups such as the Family Research Council that check members’ stances on positions such as abortion and gay rights.
Anyone want to put some money on whether or not the Whacker from Waco will get an 18th term?