Hoge, right, with Occupy Bawl Street, left, at Blog Bash 2013

William John Joseph Hoge is obsessed with the notion that Bill Schmalfeldt, aka Liberal Grouch, has harassed him on behalf of Brett Kimberlin. In fact, Hoge filed criminal charges against Kimberlin and Schmalfeldt on February 28 this year for the sole purpose of making sure the two men actually met in person for the first time so that he could pretend they work together. The rest of his brilliant strategery didn’t work out according to plan. When his evidence-free charges were dismissed again at the most recent peace order hearing, Hoge wouldn’t stop trying to argue with the judge after he dropped the gavel and walked away from the bench. Hizzonner told Hoge he was done with him, and offered to let the nice bailiffs escort him out of the courthouse if he needed help leaving the facility.

Hoge seems to have taken that experience very personally. Along with Aaron Walker, his companion in filing fake criminal charges against Schmalfeldt, he is holding “Everyone Blog About the Howard County State’s Attorney’s Office Day” today and  appealing the dismissal of his charges to a Maryland circuit court. The charges are nonsense, of course. Aaron Walker and Lee Stranahan, his companions-in-fake-criminal charges, are the “families” Hoge mentions here:

I was prompted to ask these questions because of his office’s handling of harassment complaints filed by families from Texas and Virginia that were not prosecuted. Of course, it is possible that a complaint can be filed without sufficient supporting evidence. However, it appears that all of the evidence necessary to establish that harassment occurred and who did it was well documented.

In point of fact, Hoge can’t even establish a prima facie case that he was ever harassed. Bill merely blogged about these people. Since all of them are famewhoring their alleged harassment by Kimberlin, they seem to have decided Bill must be working for him. This banal story of psychological projection has a life of its own, feeding on every odd event. Most recently, Hoge returned home with his wife to discover someone had yanked the door handle loose while they were gone. Leaving it up to his readers to draw the now-obvious conclusion that Brett Kimberlin is responsible for this development, and that said harassment somehow passes through a 58 year-old Parkinsons patient named Bill Schmalfeldt who happens to live in the same state as Brett Kimberlin, Hoge becomes the latest right wing blog martyr to the sinister talents of the all-powerful Team Kimberlin.

And Team Kimberlin grows ever larger. Patterico, who knows a thing or two about harassing people for real, is supporting Hoge’s  nonsense today with dark rumors about Texas Tim, a frequent commenter on our site. Hoge has also filed suit now against three John Does, which means that he probably imagines he can obtain the real identities of pseudonymous folks like Texas Tim by compelling information from Schmalfeldt. If that is the plan, then Hoge will be terribly disappointed. (Note to Breitbots: if Tim really does work in the national security complex, doxing him is an extremely bad idea.)

As always at these times, we have questions. For instance, we would guess that less than one percent of homeowners have this style of door handle:

Hoge's door handle has a screw loose, just like Hoge himself.
Hoge’s door handle has a screw loose, just like Hoge himself.
Close-up of the screw hole.
Close-up of the screw hole.

Occam’s Razor says William J.J. Hoge forgot his door was locked, broke his own front door handle, and then thought to call the police and blame it on the bogeyman Kimberlin. What thief leaves a door handle hanging by a single screw? Wouldn’t someone intent on gaining entry break a window to get in? Wouldn’t an experienced break-in artist pick the lock? Why doesn’t Hoge use the same kind of doorhandle as the 99%? We have so many questions. Is the timing of Hoge’s dubious door handle determined by this quote?

“If you’re so concerned about your safety, don’t come to Maryland.”

That is what Aaron Walker alleges the Howard County prosecutor said to his wife after she told them about her encounter with Brett Kimberlin in the parking lot of the Carroll County courthouse. You know, the one where she and he took pictures of one another and then she reputedly wept for three hours in terror?

It is almost impossible to fully describe how stupid this all is. Hoge tweeted Schmalfeldt a photograph of his son with a gun; our friend Bill photochopped and ridiculed it, so Hoge calls that “harassment.” Hoge also contends that Schmalfeldt somehow used an IP address in Kansas to harass him in some vague and inexplicable manner. It is therefore no surprise that Hoge and his friends are currently 0-for-13 in attempts to charge Bill with a crime. According to the Mel Brooks rule of comedy, this becomes funny again on the seventeenth time.

Frankly, Hoge and friends lack any proof that any crime was ever committed. All the bloggers taking part in Everyone Blog About the Howard County State’s Attorney’s Office Day (#BlogHoCoSAO is the Twitter hashtag) can repeat a catechism of accusations aimed at Kimberlin dating back to 1978, but they cannot present the first particle of proof that Brett Kimberlin has done anything to them, or that Bill is responsible for anything that has happened to them. Many observers have been mystified by their apparent obsession with charging Bill this way. Do Hoge, Walker, and company really imagine these charges will somehow bring Brett Kimberlin to justice for the imaginary crimes they say he has been committing against right wing bloggers? Incredibly, the answer is yes, they do. Because they are actually that dumb.