Remember a few weeks ago when we wondered whether Sarah Palin had given a speech while drunk? Alaska blogger Amanda Coyne caused a stir Tuesday evening by dishing on a big fight that Sarah Palin’s family started at a boozy party last weekend.

A nice, mellow party, until the Palin’s show up. There’s beer, of course, and maybe other things. Which is all fine, but just about the time when some people might have had one too many, a Track Palin stumbles out of a stretch Hummer, and immediately spots an ex-boyfriend of Willow’s. Track isn’t happy with this guy, the story goes. There’s words, and more. The owner of the house gets involved, and he probably wished he hadn’t. At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly, and it’s something to hear when Sarah screams, “Don’t you know who I am!” And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, “This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!” No, it’s what happens when the former First Family of Alaska comes knocking. As people were leaving in a cab, Track was seen on the street, shirtless, flipping people off, with Sarah right behind him, and Todd somewhere in the foreground, tending to his bloody nose.

We know who you are, Sarah. Boy, do we wish we didn’t.

Anchorage police have confirmed the Palins were involved in the brawl, though it’s still not clear whether Track or Bristol started it. Bristol is known to be a fighter, but Track is the son whose profound ignorance makes his mom so very proud. Both were spotted wearing big sunglasses and acting “like little Hollywood starlets,” which suggests they are taking after their mother.

Just think: these people were almost a heartbeat away from becoming America’s First Family, too.

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