Jim Zeigler (above, right) is just an elder care attorney and two-time Bush convention delegate with a fake WikiPedia page for a website — and zero qualifications to be Alabama’s State Auditor. A perennial candidate known as “Mr. 49 Percent,” Zeigler was finally elected last night by a wide margin. According to the official website of the State Auditor’s office, his new job is to

make a full and complete report to the governor showing the receipts and disbursement of every character, all claims audited and paid out, and all taxes and revenues collected and paid into the treasury, and the source thereof. The Auditor shall also make reports more often upon matters pertaining to the Office if required by the Governor or the Legislature.

The Code of Alabama 1975, Section 36-16-1 provides authority for the State Auditor to perform post audits of the accounts and records of the Treasurer and the accounts and records of the Department of Finance. In the post-audit of the Department of Finance and of the State Treasurer, every voucher for which a warrant is issued by the Comptroller is subject to the scrutiny of the Auditor.

So how does dark money pioneer Zeigler plan to do his new job?

For years, Zeigler has also been a self-described crusader against wasteful spending, known for filing ethics complaints and lawsuits against public officials.

Zeigler said that because of that reputation, he expected state employees to tell him about wasteful spending if he became auditor. He said he would investigate those reports, in addition to the regular duties of the office.

Translation: Jim Zeigler is a longtime gadfly who will now collect a check and pretend to audit state agencies. At the end of his term, if no one has told him of any malfeasance going on, Zeigler will declare that the state has never been more honest in its accounting. See how that works?

I have known Miranda Karrine Joseph (above, left) via social media for nearly five years. She is a board certified internal auditor with loads of talent and experience for the job. She has run for the office twice now, but unfortunately she has a D next to her name instead of an R. In Alabama, that alone is enough to disqualify a qualified person.

Idiocracy does not arrive in silence, but to thunderous applause.