Right on cue, one day after defending convicted con artist Paul Lemmen’s dubious claims to be an ordained Orthodox priest, William Hoge of Maryland indicated that he still pays entirely too much attention to Kelsie Kimberlin, the teenage daughter of his chief obsession.


Remember, this is the girl whose family, personal life, and budding music career were destroyed when Hoge and his sociopathic friends colluded to suborn perjury from her mother. Playing his accustomed role as unlicensed Maryland attorney, Aaron Walker of Virginia wrote up a steamy BDSM rape fantasy and actually submitted it to a state court in her name. Not content with mere perjury, Walker contacted Agent Dan Borsuk of the FBI and told him where and when to interview Tetyana Kimberlin to have her confirm it. She had just returned from a weeks-long, out-of-state romantic affair, and was in the middle of her ensuing marital dispute with Mr. Kimberlin, when Borsuk showed up for her custody interview with Child Protective Services. The unspoken message: endorse this perjury and you can have your children.

Tetyana understandably balked and disavowed Walker’s perverted tale of sexual torture. His fevered fiction imagined the basement level she shared with Mr. Kimberlin was secretly also (1) a terrorist bomb factory, and (2) a sinister version of Christian Grey’s playroom, complete with pictures of past victims framed on the wall. The perjury was unsupportable, for key facts and documentation absolutely contradict Walker’s sordid narrative. Mr. Kimberlin succeeded in having these ludicrous accusations sealed, but not before Mr. Hoge ran to the courthouse and made a copy of the sickening document so that he and his friends could all publish it in their blogs.

Through the magic of Google, Walker’s bizarre and strained pedophilia scenario suddenly dominated search results for the Kimberlin family just as Kelsie was emerging as a fledgling star. It’s hard to overstate this: Walker, Hoge, and their felonious friends ruined a teenage girl’s public debut in the worst way imaginable. Whereas Kelsie had been in discussions with Nashville agents in June, by September of 2013 she was forced to change schools in order to escape vicious, constant bullying based on the vomit-inducing contents of Aaron Walker’s disturbing masturbation fantasy. Upon disavowing Walker, Tetyana immediately tried to be publicly supportive of her daughter, but Kelsie’s family is irretrievably broken. (CORRECTION: I am informed that the Kimberlins have been patching up their relationship for several months now.)

Mind you, all of this came after a man named John Norton was inspired by the same right wing blogs to sneak into the Kimberlins’ yard with a camera and creep on their younger daughter. After chasing Norton to a stoplight to get his license plate number, Kimberlin filed a police report and took legal action to protect his family. Hoge blogged regularly about that affair, celebrating each minor legal step as if it were some sort of sweet victory over the evil Brett Kimberlin, never once questioning Norton’s absurd pretext of being “in the neighborhood” by sheer coincidence.

Hogewash.com currently features a black and white photo of Mr. Kimberlin standing on the porch of his office building during an incident in 2013, when Hoge was filing frivolous litigation on a regular basis. On this particular occasion, Hoge’s process server was belligerent and intrusive, so an office employee refused to accept his papers and told him to leave. At that point, the ‘process server’ called the police; so did the staff, who were disturbed by his hostile lingering in the yard. The legal papers were eventually  left on the sidewalk, because the whole point of this exercise was to get a photograph of the devil Kimberlin. Now, Hoge wants readers to celebrate the photo, which features the subject of his delirium talking to the police, as proof that Kimberlin lied at some obscure past hearing about receiving proper process service on that occasion.

Hoge’s focus on minutiae is indicative of his madness. Contrary to his notion of what constitutes proper delivery of his own legal paperwork, ever since Kimberlin got fed up and started suing Hoge and his friends, they have scrutinized every checkbox of Kimberlin’s certified mail to construct further elaborate conspiracy theories. When he shows up to court, Hoge always has thick folders stacked on the table, as if their weight adds gravitas to his weaksauce litigating.

These are stuffed with the collected breadcrumbs of his conspiracy narrative, which in turn excuses everything he does. If Hoge actually lived in Kimberlin’s neighborhood, he would be creepy like Craig Hicks, the Chapel Hill, North Carolina man who shot his Muslim neighbors dead after obsessing about parking spaces.

Each unit got permits for up to two cars, but only one assigned spot. Building 20 had 13 spaces. Mr. Barakat and Ms. Abu-Salha were assigned space 20B. The next, 20C, belonged to Mrs. Hicks. Five spaces in the middle were unassigned and could be used for extra cars. Drivers also regularly parked on the side street.

The housing association allowed residents to have improperly parked cars towed. But Mr. Hicks abused this power until the housing association asked him to stop, his wife’s lawyer said. According to a police search warrant, he kept “pictures and detailed notes on parking activity” on his computer.

William Hoge is trying to prove that Kimberlin lied about a parking space two years ago to justify the lies he told about Kimberlin’s family at the same time. Hoge and his Lemmengs like to imagine they have helped Tetyana and Kelsie, but they know what they’ve really done, and secretly they have to be worried. They must fear the day this girl turns eighteen and has the right to speak for herself, because then she might just ‘thank’ the liars who ruined her family by singing unforgettable lyrics. Frankly, I hope she destroys them.