The Alabama House Ways and Means Committee recently passed a new tax aimed at dealers of pornography which will, accordingly, be passed on to buyers or consumers of what Alabama terms as pornography. According to the Ways and Means Committee in Alabama, this bill covers pornography defined as:

Any act of sexual intercourse, masturbation,urination, defecation, lewd exhibition of the genitals,sadomasochistic abuse, bestiality, or the fondling of the sex organs of animals; or any other physical contact with a person’s unclothed genitals, pubic area, buttocks, or the breast or breasts of a female, whether alone or between members of the same or opposite sex or between a human and an animal, in an act of sexual stimulation, gratification, or perversion.

Gee, I guess those human and animal sex acts have to be covered in some way in Alabama. Is this even a problem there? Also, how does the Ways and Means Committee define PERVERSION? I guess we will just have to wait and see how this gets defined by Republican legislators.

The bill also covers these types of distribution channels:

SEXUALLY-ORIENTED MATERIAL. Any book, magazine, newspaper, printed or written matter, writing, description, picture, drawing, animation, photograph, motion picture, film, video tape, pictorial presentation, depiction, image, electrical or electronic reproduction, broadcast, transmission, video download, telephone communication, sound recording, article, device, equipment, matter, oral communication, depicting breast or genital nudity or sexual conduct as defined herein.

So, according to this bill, sex chats will get taxed, be they on Tinder or via the phone. And OMG, ORAL communications will get hit with the tax as well. Gee, no more sexually defined “ORAL” communications allowed in Alabama without paying your fair share to the state.

In addition to this tax, another 10 percent will be levied on gross receipts for the sale of explicit materials for a grand total of 50 percent in additional taxes due on the sale of said materials.

In addition to the tax levied pursuant to subdivision (a) of this section, there is hereby levied an additional excise tax of 10 percent of the gross receipts resulting from the sale or rental of sexually-oriented material as defined herein.

However, the tax shall not be levied on rated R movies or sexual enhancement pills such as Viagra.

The tax levied by this subsection shall not apply to motion pictures designated by the rating board for the Motion Picture Association of America by the letter “R” for restricted audiences, persons under 17 years of age not admitted unless accompanied by parent or adult guardian, or the designation “NC-17” for persons under 17 years of age not admitted. In addition, this subsection shall not apply to: (1)any contraceptive device or medication or (2) any medication that is prescribed by a physician that is intended to enhance sexual performance or sexual enjoyment.

I wonder how they define sexual enjoyment in this bill? It seems you can get your junk or wick hard with Viagra, but sans any stimulus to use it with without paying 50 percent to the state will likely make enjoyment a bit on the “hard” side. Or maybe one should say the “soft” side.

So, in other words, masturbating or having sex in Alabama will now cost you an extra 50 percent in taxes if you tend to buy pornography materials, dildos, toys, vibrators, magazines, X-rated movies and so on to make your sexual fantasies more enjoyable. Hey, if you can’t get the state funded, might as well go after those seeking sexual gratification to supplant that much-needed revenue. I guess they figured there was a lot of money being made in Alabama on sexual material, so the state has now come up with another way to fund those much-needed schools, extra teachers, and road repairs. Sex isn’t getting any cheaper in Alabama I guess. And as they say, Sex and Taxes with be the death of you.



Alabama Porn Tax Bill by Kyle Whitmire




By Marcus Crassus

Marcus Licinius Crassus was a Roman general and politician who played a key role in the transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire.

5 thoughts on “Masturbation In Alabama Just Got More Expensive”
  1. I’ve little doubt these are the most pressing matters Alabama legislators have on their plate. /snark Beware of politicians on a moral crusade, it never ends well.

  2. Since it is probably the people working for the State watching all the porn on the taxpayer’s dime, let them pay the taxes.

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