Daddy Trump’s little princess stamped her foot and pursed her lips into a full-fledged pout.

“Dah Dee! Those mean people at Nordstrom won’t sell my clothing line any more. Have them killed.”

“Now, now, Daddy’s little flower. What did those mean, bad people at Nordstrom say to you?” Trump patted his knee inviting his sweet little darling to climb up on his lap.

Ivanka snuggled into her Papa’s embrace, wiggling in ever such an enticing manner as she wrapped her arms around Trump’s flabby neck and smothered his face with sloppy kisses.

“They said nobody wants to buy my products,” she whined. “And that makes your little Vanky-Wanky EVER so sad!” She sobbed once for effect.

“Well, that’s just unfair, my little pussy cat,” Daddy said. “Tell you what I’ll do. As soon as I can stand up without embarrassing myself, Daddy’s gonna write a TWEET! That will show those bullies at Nordstrom.”

“YAY!” Ivanka exulted. She hopped down from Trump’s lap and scampered away to play with her toys,

“I ruined other companies by Tweeting bad things about them. Lockheed Martin. General Motors. Toyota. This time, I’ll use my @realdonaldtrump AND the @POTUS accounts. They’re finished,” he thought, smiling his mirthless smile.

He pulled out his Android and tweeted the following.

“Now to watch them crumble,” he chuckled.

Nordstrom closed up 4.09%.

Trump shook his head, dreading Ivanka’s sure-to-follow tantrum, wondering if he could get away with calling the closing stock prices “fake news.”

By The Portly Pundit

After four months in the belly of the right wing media beast, and after a full four days of hot showering, everyone's favorite Portly Pundit is once again weaving tales of progressive pulchritude on Breitbart Unmasked.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *