One person clinging tightly to the “But, SCHMALFELDT” line of defense in the upcoming Federal Lawsuit in the US District Court for the District of South Carolina is defendant Sarah Palmer. One senses a certain air of invincibility about her.

In DUMBFUCK Pretendy Land Twitterz Court

Well no WONDER she was so smug. I didn’t have her correct address. Can’t get a summons served without the correct address, right? Sarah knew I had her old address and wasn’t going to smarten THIS plaintiff up on the subject.

So, I found it myself.

Now, hold on there. Didn’t she live in Reidsville, NC, when she filed her bogus “Oh, I’m so afraid the fat, handicapped man will drive from Wisconsin to North Carolina to GET me. And, oh yeah, my grandson, too” Restraining Order in January 2016 (expired January 2017)?

She SAYS she did.

But check out her SOOPER KLEVER answer to having an incorrect address on the form.


Uh huh. And perjurers gottq go to jail.

Oh, she’s right. The application form says exactly what she says it says.

And I am very scary. I’ve never made a threat against her. I did publish a picture she says was of her grandson. Here’s exactly how it appeared.

Unless the baby was born with a congenitally-blurred face, it is clear that I obscured the infant’s identity. But Sarah was so frightened, she told the judge that she lay awake at night, trembling in fear that I would somehow catch a Greyhound to North Carolina, limp up to her door and say BOO or something, given my past history of sickening, horrifying non-violence.

But the form DOES say she can give an alternative address. She did not. She lived at the address on the form… until November 2015.

Then, in November 2015, opportunity came knocking and Sarah was there to answer the door. She took a job in Greensboro. Well! Good for Sarah! But… how can she list Reidsville as her address for a hearing in Rockingham County when she lived in Guilford County at the time?

Earlier today, I spoke to a clerk at the Rockingham County Court of Common Justice (or some other such convoluted name.)

Yes. Sarah checked the box saying she was a resident of ROCKINGHAM COUNTY!

This may be perfectly innocent. Maybe Sarah DID live in Rockingham County when she lied to the court about my harassing her and her sweet grandbaby.

I have directly asked Sarah, via e-mail, Twitter, telephone, to just say WHEN she moved from Reidsville in Rockingham County to Greensboro in Guilford County.

If my information is correct, and only Sarah can prove it is INcorrect, she lied under oath to a court of law and will have to pay the price for that. That will not be up to me. That will be up to law enforcement.

But this will CERTAINLY be used as evidence about the dishonesty of this miserable woman who has been defaming me on a nearly daily basis for years.

It is in Sarah’s best interest to clear this up, and quickly, because my next call will be to the Rockingham and Guilford County district attorneys.


By The Portly Pundit

After four months in the belly of the right wing media beast, and after a full four days of hot showering, everyone's favorite Portly Pundit is once again weaving tales of progressive pulchritude on Breitbart Unmasked.

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