When Phil Robertson, the bearded creator of duck calls whose family stars in the smash “reality TV” hit Duck Dynasty, was briefly suspended by the A&E cable network over homophobic religious comments he made to GQ magazine, Aaron Walker was ready to defend his right to free speech. Drawing parallels to his own Islamophobic cartoon blogging (because Walker is such a free speech hero), he never actually managed to articulate an objection to the right of a corporation to censor its own talent. But he did celebrate when the suspension was reversed, saying that “free speech is bigger than the First Amendment.”

However, something is missing from Walker’s defense of Robertson. He has so far ignored this distressing video that emerged after the Duck Commander was suspended. It is a recording of Robertson telling the Georgia Sportsmen’s Ministry in 2009 that men should marry 15 and 16 year-old girls because a woman of 20 is already an old maid:


Look, you wait ‘til they get to be twenty years-old and the only picking that’s going to take place is your pocket. You got to marry these girls when they’re about fifteen or sixteen and they’ll pick your ducks.

Walker has been conspicuously silent about the Duck Commander’s duck-picking, which is strange because just a few months ago Walker called this exact behavior “evil.” Except that he was saying it about Brett Kimberlin, and he was lying about Tetyana’s age at the time she met her husband. Remember those good times? We do. Here are Mr. Walker’s own words:

You see, folks, there is a reason why we make it illegal for a forty year old man to have sex with a fifteen year old girl.  Because a girl that young is not mature enough to handle the situation with appropriate maturity.  The danger of that older man dominating her in a way that is unhealthy are extremely high, when a more worldly man seduces a child.

And likewise, there is a reason why it is illegal for a sixteen year old to get married without parental consent or that doctor’s note.  Again it is because of the danger that the child might not be mature enough to make an intelligent decision.  By requiring parental consent, this means that his or her parents will have a chance to make sure the relationship is truly healthy.

Yes, folks, there is a reason why Mr. Walker lied about Tetyana’s age (she was actually seventeen) and called Brett Kimberlin a pedophile for supposedly marrying a fifteen year-old girl, but has nothing to say about Phil Robertson advising men to marry fifteen year-old girls. Quite simply, Mr. Walker is a rank hypocrite who rationalizes that hypocrisy by demonizing his enemies. Because they are “evil,” they deserve his lies and propaganda, whereas Duck Commanders who toe a bigoted right wing line deserve special protection from the forces of political correctness. Aaron Walker will gladly be their champion, but we are not holding our breath while we wait for him to be morally consistent.
  • Hofenbrau

    So Aaron Walker chooses who he accuses of dirty deeds eh? I am not surprised. He tends to gravitate to those who follow his religious beliefs and accuse others who don’t of dastardly deeds and being EVIL. Walker is a fool, a court jester who is only here to give people laughs at his lunatic fringe memes.

    Great way to out him here. I wonder if he will try and spin these backwoods lunatics deserve to have child brides because their religion calls for it.

  • Love the new look. Of course, Hoge and his lickspittles are spooging all over themselves taking credit for revealing some grand conspiracy that was shown by the file name of the graphic I created for the old masthead. And now, they are rolling around in their own thick, rich gravy in celebration. The information consisted entirely of the name of the file, which I believe was “Screen Shot whatever day whatever time.” But they think they found something, so why spoil their fun. Nice job on the site.

    • They really are grasping at straws. As should be self-evident, volunteers are in charge of this site, and we are free to do whatever we want with the template and header graphics. You had your fun, now we have ours. This is not a conspiracy, it is a blog.

  • Hofenbrau

    Yes I thought it was hilarious the way they tried to generate some type of controversy or nontroversy over a header image, as if to say Bill Schmalfeldt must somehow own or control this website, or as if to say the site is somehow an illegal operation because of it. I mean so what if Bill Schmalfeldt made an image file long ago for the site. Anyway yes very nice site redesign. It is much easier on the eyes and works on devices and tablets now. I can now read and respond without having to pinch and zoom. Great work BU. Keep it up.

    • They were determined to see a conspiracy theory in this website from the moment it appeared, and they have tried to criminalize this blog by attacking Schmalfeldt in courts of law. When we took over this site, Team Akbar made absolute fools of themselves trying to identify us. But we take comfort in the fact that every day they spend trying to prove their stupid conspiracy theories about this website is another day they have failed to prepare their defenses.

  • Hofenbrau

    That is very comical, but there is a method to this madness lol. It is good that BU is here, and I for one shall support this site every day. A great site indeed. Great work here too. I love the writing. I read this place every day. Please keep the stories coming, I hate it when there isn’t daily fresh meat to read lol.

    • We have not been able to give this blog the time it truly deserves, and we are delighted to report that we have fresh hot content on the way.

  • Hofenbrau

    So why hasn’t Walker disputed this audio recording of the Judge saying he assaulted Kimberlin? Does Walker have anything to say about it? Or is he content to just shut up about the truth that he is a lying douchebag? I would say he is content to be known as a lying douchebag. His lies are all over the internet. He has lied so much he cannot remember the last time he ever told the truth. His whole life is a lie.

    • “Why” is very simple: Aaron Walker knows he is wrong, but he cannot admit it.

  • Hofenbrau

    So Walker thinks its OK for Phil Robertson to sleep with underage girls? I cannot believe he won’t answer these new revelations about his newest bestest buddy. Walker must have his own issues then I guess.

    • We do wonder how much of Mr. Walker’s attempted perjury was actually his own wet dream. The description of Mr. Kimberlin’s basement as some sort of Ariel Castro rape prison, for instance. Does Mr. Walker sit around all day fantasizing about Kimberlin building bombs and raping girls in his basement? These are disturbing thoughts because Mr. Walker is a disturbing person.

  • Hofenbrau

    Good point Xeno. Well didn’t Walker say that he believed Kimberlin’s iPad was a bomb? So he “LUNGED” toward it and took it away instead of running away from it in fear? Walker must be a courageous hero to think that he could lunge towards a bomb and take it into his hands so it could go off shattering him into 3000 pieces. Yeah right.

    Walker is an infamous coward who supposedly has his wife check his car for bombs. If he was so courageous about taking bombs away from a guy in court, how come he makes a woman go check the car for explosives instead of him checking it?

    Walker has a yellow streak a mile and a half long. He reeks of cowardice so much the flies avoid him.

  • Sara

    I left a comment on an older post, the one with your podcast that you did with Lee.
    Is there another link?
    You all do realize he is up to his same tricks again?