President-elect Donald Trump took time from his busy schedule of not answering questions from reporters and refusing to explain how he would avoid conflicts of interest by taking a morning meeting with rapper Kanye West today. After meeting for about an hour, Trump and “Yeezy” appeared together in the Trump Tower lobby where Trump announced West had accepted his offer to be the next White House Press Secretary.
“I found it gratifying that Mr. Trump recognized my genius and unique talent for connecting with young people across the nation. When I learned that Kellyanne Conway would rather gouge her eyes out with fish hooks than be the Press Secretary, I got on the phone to Donald and he asked me to come over for a chat. Donald Trump will be the greatest president in American history,” West said.
“Fo’ shizzle, ma nizzle,” Trump said, slapping West on the back and lumbering back to the golden elevator door.
The cable news channels immediately stopped reporting on issues of substance and, like babies seeing something shiny, focused on the distraction provided by Kanye West.