Governor Chris Christie runs New Jersey like an outlaw motorcycle club. My new article (with songs) recaps the Bridgegate scandal and its main characters alongside quotes from the legendary “Sons of Anarchy” television series. David Wildstein, a former Port Authority official and high-school friend of Governor Chris Christie (R-New Jersey), pleaded guilty to his role in the closure of lanes at the George Washington Bridge in September of 2013.  Wildstein pleaded guilty at the United States District Court in Newark to “conspiracy to commit fraud” and “conspiracy against civil rights.” Judge Susan D. Wigenton, who presided over the case, asked Mr. Wildstein if he agreed with Mr. Bill Baroni, the former deputy executive director of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, and Ms. Bridget Anne Kelly, a former deputy chief of staff to Mr. Christie, to punish Mayor Mark Sokolich of Fort Lee (Sokolich declined to endorse Governor Christie in his 2013 re-election bid) by causing significant lane access problems. Mr. Wildstein answered “Yes.” Alan Zegas, David Wildstein’s attorney, stated that Governor Christie (contrary to his public statements) “knew of the lane closures as they occurred” and “evidence exists” that proves it. According to court documents unsealed today, Bill Baroni and Bridget Anne Kelly were indicted on nine counts of conspiracy, fraud, and related charges.  The U.S. Attorney’s office said that the most serious of the charges in the indictment carry a maximum of 20 years in prison. Today, Bridget Anne Kelly proclaimed: “for the indictment to suggest that I was the only person in the governor’s office who was aware of the Geroge Washington Bridge issue is ludicrous.”

“You had the chance to be something good for this club. Something your old man always wanted. But you turned into everything he hated. You became the poison. The reason he checked out.”

As we learned in the book “Chris Christie: The Inside Story of His Rise to Power” by Bob Ingle and Michael Symons, in 2001, President George W. Bush appointed Chris Christie as U.S. Attorney for the District of New Jersey.  Christie charged into the Governor’s Mansion in 2010 vowing to fight corruption in a state political scene notorious for cronyism and criminality. But is his administration just another case of “Meet the New Boss, same as the Old Boss?” Christie continues to deny accusations linking him to the lane closures and tweeted earlier today: “I had no knowledge or involvement in the planning or execution of this act.”

As it stands now, it appears that Bridget Anne Kelly and David Wildstein (along with Bill Baroni) are the scapegoats for Chris Christie. Sample lyrics from my parody song “I am the Scapegoat for Chris Christie” and the video can be found here:

“Expert Randy Mastro says that Christie simply didn’t know a thing. Lawyers always lie like swine in the sky see how they twist the facts around. Independent investigation tried to clear Christie’s name. But its just a whitewash, one-sided hack job, man you should have seen them kickin’ Bridget Anne Kelly.  He’s David Wildstein, she’s Bridget Kelly, they are the scapegoats for Chris Christie.”

But perhaps we will all be saying “Christie, Christie whatcha gonna do? David Wildstein’s gonna flip on you.” And David Wildstein may have the last laugh…

In an interview with Mike Kelly of the Bergen Record, Mayor Mark Sokolich (of Fort Lee) stated that Governor Christie’s campaign orchestrated an extensive operation over two years that involved gifts to Fort Lee to convince the mayor to endorse Governor Christie’s re-election campaign. We are living in a Material World, but Sokolich was not persuaded:

“Inside the club, there had to be truth. Our word was our honor. But outside, it was all about deception. Lies were our defense, our default. To survive, you had to master the art of perjury. The lie and the truth had to feel the same. But once you learned that skill, nobody knows the truth in or outside the club; especially you.”

“I never made a conscious decision to have the club become one thing or another. It just happened before my eyes. Each savage event was a catalyst for the next. And by the time the violence reached epic proportion, I couldn’t see it. Blood was every color.”

As Matt Friedman of the Newark Star-Ledger reported, Chris Christie attempted to bully national hero Carl Lewis. Lewis stated that Christie told him that if he ran against Addiego, his fitness program’s gotta go:


“And you and your crew, you just skate away without so much as a slap on the wrist?”

“You can slap my wrists until they’re bloody, lady. I don’t give a sh-t. I’m giving you a win well above your pay grade. You get your devil and you punch your ticket out of this cesspool. So let’s not get too lost in righteousness. I’m the scumbag outlaw, and you’re the pillar of justice. And neither one of us likes looking at ourselves in the mirror. Do we have a deal?”

New Jersey Public Radio WNYC’s Matt Katz broke the story that the Christie administration quietly severed ties to Hammerman and Gainer (HGI), the state’s biggest Sandy Recovery contractor and made a deal to give them an over 10 million dollar payment on their way out. Fair Share New Jersey reported that HGI wrongly rejected at least 1,900 Sandy victims for Sandy Recovery Funds. Here’s “A Little Ditty about Chris and Bridget Anne.”

Indeed, Christie likes to “Bully all the time.”

“Everything caves under the weight of greed. I’ve seen it my whole life. Nothing stays simple.”

In his greed to win a landslide in his re-election in the blue state of New Jersey to bolster his future presidential prospects, Christie exhibited a hubris perhaps only matched by Richard Nixon himself in the Watergate Scandal. Every morning these days, Chris Christie asks himself “What would Richard Nixon do?”  The answer is “He wouldn’t give up until he was through.”

“This better not come back to bite me in the ass, Handsome Jack.”

“Come on, Charlie, you can trust me.”

“That’s what Custer said to his troops.”

U.S. Attorney Paul Fishman said not to expect anymore indictments in the Bridgegate scandal. But could there be trouble lurking for Christie on other fronts?  Recently The Bergen Record’s Shawn Boburg reported that U.S Attorney Paul Fishman is looking into Christie’s former chairman at the Port Authority David Samson and his dealings with United Airlines. United, introduced a sparingly used (i.e., half-full) direct flight from Newark to Columbia, Carolina near Samson’s weekend home while he was the chairman of the agency overseeing the region’s airports. United stopped the route, dubbed by Samson “the Chairman’s flight,” on April 1, 2014, just after his resignation. In 2013, the Port Authority promised to length the PATH rail line to Newark Liberty, thereby connecting Manhattan with United at Newark’s airport. United also agreed to start flights out of Atlantic City to facilitate Christie’s attempts to stimulate the economy of the town. They stopped this arrangement in November and filed a complaint with the FAA alleging that the Port Authority was inappropriately diverting airport fees to non-aviation projects.

Shawn Boburg also reported that the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office and the U.S Securities and Exchange Commission are investigating Christie’s administration for urging the diversion of $1.8 billion in Port Authority money to pay for New Jersey-owned, non-agency roads. The Port Authority’s spending is restricted by law to its own facilities, however they claimed that this transaction was justified as the roadways could be used to access the Lincoln Tunnel.  It should be noted that these roads (including the Pulaski Skyway) are miles away from the tunnel and do not connect to it.

In “Governor Christie’s Crooked Pals Club Band,” I sing about David Samson and the Port Authority “political piggy bank” which may come back to bite Chris Christie in the ass:

And now for some extra Christie-related fun:

#Bridgegate scandal song with subtitles:

My “Time for some Traffic Problems in Ft. Lee” original folk song (and sweet vertical cell phone video, written and posted on January 12, 2014):

Jim Beckerman of The Bergen Record interviewed me last year for a story on Governor Christie and the Bridgegate scandal. The article mentioned my parody song “Christie in the Sky with Wildstein.”

The outstanding “Chasing Jersey” television program featured my “Governor Christie’s Ark” original folk song about the Mayor Dawn Zimmer of Hoboken/Hurricane Sandy funds scandal last year. The song goes: “Do what I want you to do or else no Sandy money for you.”

By James Rustad

James Rustad is a songwriter/vocalist/guitarist based in the Tampa Bay (Florida) area. His political satire music has been featured in Breitbart Unmasked, The Washington Post, Seattle PI, Alaska Dispatch, Firebrand Progressives, Politicalgates, Inquisitr,, The Bergen Record, Air Occupy, and other top publications and media outlets. Check out for more catchy tunes, follow James on Twitter @jamesrustadsong, and like jamesrustadmusic on Facebook!

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